Its a sunday and Im at work,when’l I ever get used to this??sadness,badness,worshtness..

I had been to Mumbai for a couple of days to catch up with some friends and underwent several,coming to think of it now,hilarious hiccups.To cut to the chase,it all started when I had to travel from Vashi to Powai.After a thoroughly wet,painstaking wait of nearly 70 min at a bus stop,I flagged an auto..Excerpts from the ensuing conversation : (translated into English for Junta’s sake)

Me : Brother,I have to go to Powai

AD (Auto Dude) : Sorry,I cant come

Me : Why not?

AD : Cos Powai’s in Mumbai

ME : ?????WTF??? So where are we now ?

AD : Somewhere outside Mumbai..

5 min later,another AD agreed to drop me somewhere close to my destination.As we kept chugging along,it seemed to me that we were going around in circles.Suddenly,I saw a sign indicating left to Mumbai and a toll gate came up,where the AD ordered me to disembark.After taking another auto to Powai and completing all my social and personal agenda,I had to go back to Vashi,where a preview show of ‘Bachna Ae Haseeno’ lay in wait.A few Mumbaikars gave me detailed rail routes,emphasing on the lack of a rush after 2100 hrs.My journey till Dadar was not comfortable,but I managed to push my way through.Then came the Godzilla journey,the Killer.

When I rushed to the platform to board another train to Kurla,the sight scared me.Approximately 500 people or more were trying to board the next train,policemen were frantically trying to pacify the restless crowd with their potent lathis.Casually walking by,I was suddenly pulled into the crowd and pushed into the train,which had just arrived.Yes,I was just swept off my feet.I was hanging on to a bar,when suddenly the pushing and shoving turned into beatings.People started kicking and punching around,in a bid to occupy another sq.m of breathing space.In spite of enduring all the physical abuse,I was barred from exiting the train when my station arrived.I started to shove people around and got even harder shoves.Somehow I crept to the exit,when the train started to leave.Not knowing what to do,I got down facing the opposite direction of motion of the train.30 sec later,I felt my body ache like never before;it was the worst beating of my life.As I finally arrived at Vashi,the skies were pouring down and ADs were very particular about where they would take their passengers to.One AD had to listen to a sermon in a language,as unparliamentary as you can ever find,from a bellicose young lady.I had started this ill fateful trip at 2110 and I came where I wanted to at 00 10 hrs,a journey which a Mumbaikar friend had almost correctly estimated to be at around 40 min.The movie was at its halfway stage and I just sat through the rest.I took an oath at that very minute,never to board a Mumbai local train ever again.

If you thought it was all over,nope..not yet.I had to leave for Pune the following night and after a rather amazing,fun day,I reached Dadar at around 21 45 hrs.A friend,X, and me checked out the platform and decided to have some coffee to kill time before the train arrived (23 00 hrs).As I sipped away,I realised I didn’t have my house key.I had forgotten to take it from one of my room mates who was also in Mumbai at that time,but would return only the next day.There was nobody at home now and I desperately needed the key.I had to go to work the next day,come hell or high water.I called up my room mate Y and asked him to get the key to Dadar.After a few clarifications,he got into a taxi along with 2 other guys W and Z.I told X then that it was like a Bollywood/Kollywood movie,X replied saying I better hope it ends like one.Y called and asked to check out landmarks at Dadar East,as they would be coming somewhere there.X and Me ran to the otherside and started looking around.All we found was a flyover and tons of shops.Clueless as ever,we called up Y and told him we cant find anything worthwhile.To our astonishment,Y said he had reached Dadar East and was searching for us.After a few curses and misleading directions,we agreed to meet somewhere inside the station.Running around like mice chasing cheese,I finally found Y,W and Z.

We exchanged pleasantries,I got the key and we all went to platform 5 at 22 50 hrs to wait for my train no.1333,which would come in a while.Suddenly,an announcement was made for the arrival of train 1327 at 23 10 hrs,similar one followed for train 1333 also arriving at 23 10 hrs.We were all fed up and muddled up.A Messiah in the form of a passerby clarified that the stupid Indian Railways ran a single train with 2 different numbers and was divided into 2 parts,which branched off at some God forsaken place called Daund.You can say the train was something like a pair of Siamese twins.To add to all this,compartments were named GS1,GS2 and so on,and also S1,S2 and so on.The G denoted some unreserved compartment or something,but since when did the Railways started give sleeper berths to such compartments.I did manage to squeak into the train,when I crashed into my berth,I got a msg from my room mate saying he wasn’t sure if he had given me the right key.AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH..

The TTE confidently comforted me saying I could sleep well and the train would reach not Pune before 04 30 hrs.Due to restlessness and the sturdy berth,I kept waking up once in every 15 min.On one such instance at around 03 54 hrs,I found the train to be stationary and enquired about its current whereabouts.To my shock and dismay,he said the train was halted at Pune,which then started to move.I grabbed my jerkin and backpack and quite literally,jumped from the upper berth with a resounding thud.This was followed by another hop/leap from the train to the platform,barely landing on my feet.I reached home and was overjoyed to see my door open with a click :-).As I went to sleep,I could not help saying ” God,Tussi Great Ho”..Like in almost all Indian movies,it was a ‘Happys Endings’,if it doesn’t end so,then people do not worry,’picture abhi bhi baaki hai’..

P.S : Slightly heavy dose of Bollywood of late