Equal Occurences

Of late,I have been highly contemplative,pondering over the ifs and buts of all occurences,leading to an eternal mental unrest.Agreed everything has a certain probability of occurence,which might vary depending upon other extraneous factors.However,our minds are never satisfied with these numbers especially when we don’t get we want,which happens around approximately 99 percent.How many times have we noticed the bus we badly want,shoot off in the opposite direction once in every 5 minutes?Considering a 2 lane road,the probability of a bus coming on either lane should be around 1/2.Yet it always happens that these numbers fail us.Also,there are several instances in life where even several more things have an equal probability of occurence;but then,how many of these things do really serve the purpose,we never know.A hardly stated,yet significantly true fact is that,probability is oblivious to all the evil aspects of an occurence.It is never influenced by all the goody goody characteristics and fails to create a bias towards the ‘right’ side.We all play Snakes and Ladders.Isnt it unfair that getting bitten by a snake and taking a ladder to victory on a particular roll of dice have the same probability?(on some occasions atleast)We are all noble souls,lol,but then numbers are fair,numbers are impartial etc.Numbers,not always,are right.When you supposedly live off your karma,how can you explain being subjected to an equal probability of toss of a coin,when a tail can make me happy (i.e Im a good Karma person)

All this is basically because I took up engineering when I had a gazillion other choices.Say,I could have even become a pizza delivery boy,a political party youth leader,a ghazal singer etc.But I didnt,I stuck to the conventions of my time and by God,it sucks.I could have gone on another path,as the rules of probability permitted me to.No,something did not let me,what could overpower the other probable choices,choices which were sanctioned by numbers,which people claim are omnipotent and omnipresent (The golden ratio is supposed to be all over nature).Maybe the human mind is the answer.The mind filters the equal choices picking the ‘right’ one.Assuming there exists only one ‘right’ choice,then the probability of the mind choosing a ‘wrong’ one is way higher,which is most unfair.Some math geek has to work out why numbers fail to see beyond the materialistic world.For all you know,it could get you a Fields Medal someday.Im bored now,I have nothing to do that interests me,Im pissed,I hate equal probability,I hate 1/2 or 2/4 or 3/6 and so on.And yeah,engineering SUCKS..